i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
