I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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