dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
did i walk over a car last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
