omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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