it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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