I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize