the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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