Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
