i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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