its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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