You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
