There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
