Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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