maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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