If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
