Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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