I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize