Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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