yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
