he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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