Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
