Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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