i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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