We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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