I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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