Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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