M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
