hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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