i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
