She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize