Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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