you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
