He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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