Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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(443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406

Replies (19) Good night (857) Bad night (3228)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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(301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn

Replies (25) Good night (3438) Bad night (672)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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(615): Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast http://tfl.nu/lexd

Replies (12) Good night (777) Bad night (2015)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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(864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6

Replies (82) Good night (8260) Bad night (760)
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(254): View more from Texas

you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.

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(254): you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it. http://tfl.nu/sgly

Replies (18) Good night (751) Bad night (3815)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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(440): Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day http://tfl.nu/1jo6

Replies (74) Good night (3780) Bad night (933)
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(408): View more from California

Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

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(408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2

Replies (18) Good night (5435) Bad night (1312)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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(405): just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv (1-405): we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina http://tfl.nu/dapc

Replies (24) Good night (2503) Bad night (5443)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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(641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm

Replies (18) Good night (1199) Bad night (1357)
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(585): View more from New York

you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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(585): you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink.. http://tfl.nu/9bld

Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (1076)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.

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(807): I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/yivs

Replies (12) Good night (1879) Bad night (737)
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(914): View more from New York

I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

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(914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp

Replies (2) Good night (1020) Bad night (485)
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(805): View more from California

I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

(714): View more from California

I could

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(805): I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka (714): I could http://tfl.nu/hbcr

Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (448)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.

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(816): I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs. http://tfl.nu/pv3i

Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (327)
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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (315)

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