your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
