my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.