You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
