Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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