I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
