dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
