Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
