while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
