Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize