i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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