I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.