Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it! http://tfl.nu/tttx
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs
  Replies (13) Good night (1313) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

  (1-661): View more from California

  Lol thats a classic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me. (1-661): Lol thats a classic http://tfl.nu/zpo3
  Replies (31) Good night (5201) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
  Replies (41) Good night (9674) Bad night (3539)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1728) Bad night (2977)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr
  Replies (22) Good night (7893) Bad night (1581)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6rsw
  Replies (17) Good night (4035) Bad night (2003)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now http://tfl.nu/qqu5
  Replies (16) Good night (2427) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt
  Replies (19) Good night (2820) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk. http://tfl.nu/adyj
  Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar? http://tfl.nu/lonp
  Replies (6) Good night (1506) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done. http://tfl.nu/ojtz
  Replies (31) Good night (3076) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?" http://tfl.nu/y5jf
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties http://tfl.nu/3zmr
  Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My penis needs a shock collar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): My penis needs a shock collar http://tfl.nu/qzdc
  Replies (8) Good night (692) Bad night (436)

Randomize