I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
