Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down