May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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