drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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