And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
