Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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