some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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