I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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