Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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