The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
