what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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