ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nicole vs. Life
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
