I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
