What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
