Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize