im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
