Betty ford says i'm here all night
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
