You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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