absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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