sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
