my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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