Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
