The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
