I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
