Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
