i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
