I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
